The Wrong Side Of The Tracks

Vince Bunnyman once knew a girl from the wrong side of the tracks.
But she hadn’t always been from the wrong side of the tracks.
Her family had previously lived only 3 bus stops away.
Then her Dad moved away and she moved with her Mum and her Brother to the other side of the train tracks.
The wrong side.
Within a couple of days of moving house they realised that their bedroom windows faced each other.
They were separated by two pains of glass and the V-Line train.
At first they would wave good morning and good night to one another.
Eventually they started using Morse code via torchlight.
Unfortunately neither of them understood Morse code so their conversations were subjective at best.
For his eleventh birthday Vince received a 1:100 scale remote control helicopter.
He would tie Teddy Bear Biscuits to the underside of the helicopter and attempt to fly them over the train line to her adjoining window.
Sadly the Teddy Bear Biscuit never made it past the Three-Fourteen to Shepparton.
One month later her Dad returned and her family moved again.
She was now 2 train stations and 6 bus stops away.
She’d never seemed closer.
Once again she was on the right side of the tracks.

Know Your Bunnyman Part No. 2

Vince Bunnyman is Ed You Kay Shone Elle.

Between Two Girls

Vince Bunnyman overheard a conversation between two girls.
The two girls have a friend.
Their friend’s name is Fluffy.
Try not to smirk.
Fluffy has a beautiful girlfriend.
Try not to look surprised.
Fluffy and his beautiful girlfriend join the two girls for trivia every Monday night.
Try not to ask them what the capital of Nebraska is.
Fluffy isn’t very good at trivia, but he’s better than John.
He is better than John for 3 reasons.
One, John never answers any questions, but always states, “I knew that would be the answer”, once the answer has been revealed.
Two, John’s name is John. Not Fluffy.
Three, John does not have a beautiful girlfriend to bring to trivia.
Their trivia team has never won, but they occasionally get a $10 drinks voucher just for competing.
Once, Fluffy’s beautiful girlfriend won a beer sculling challenge.
The team earned 2 points and a jug of beer.
Fluffy is truly blessed.

Respect Juice

Vince Bunnyman respects Juice.
Today was a big day for Juice.
It’s a scientific fact that 1 out of 3 people start their day with Juice.
Vince does.
Sometimes he even finishes his day with Juice, but that’s really only for special occasions like Christmas and Birthdays.
His favourite is Mango and Apple.
Tropical, yet familiar.
Today whilst at lunch more people ordered Juice than Coffee and Tea combined.
Coffee and Tea have had it too good for too long.
Vince believes their days are numbered.
On the way home two young men in their 1994 Holden Commodore each enjoyed a 1 litre carton of Orange Juice.
They shook it vigorously after each mouthful to ensure an even spread of liquid and pulp.
It was like watching a synchronised sporting event.
Shake. Swill. Shake. Swill.
Smile for the Judges.
Shake. Swill.
They clearly understand how to make the most of their Juice experience.
Society could learn something from these two young men.
Vince hopes to one day meet someone called Juice.

Know Your Bunnyman Part No. 1

Vince Bunnyman is a tool.

Sleep Like A Sapling

Vince Bunnyman slept like a sapling.
Every moment comfort.
Every moment warmth.
Blissful. Peaceful. Slumber.
No REM.
Every moment comfort.
Every moment warmth.
Stay away Michael Stipe.

Ride Public Transport

Vince Bunnyman rides public transport.
Trams are his favourite.
Today however, he’d made the decision to drive.
He decided to go Keys over Metcard.
Sally, Andrew, Amanda and Carlos had decided the same.
More than likely those weren’t their real names, but Vince had named them all accordingly as he sat gridlocked beside, behind and in front of Sally, Andrew, Amanda and Carlos.
To his left Sally sang along to the latest Top 40 hit, most likely something by Pink or the Black Eyed Peas.
To his right Andrew screamed into his iPhone like it was disobedient child.
In front of him Amanda was taking the opportunity to apply her make-up in her rear-view mirror, she was probably just going home to play online poker again though.
Behind him Carlos unbuttoned his shirt and struggled in the confined space to remove it. In doing so he revealed his pudgy flesh beneath before again struggling to cover himself, this time in a large bright yellow t-shirt.
Carlos then took his right index finger to his right nostril and retrieved an obstruction that was obviously hindering his breathing.
Vince decided that his name probably wasn’t Carlos.
He also decided that he would catch the tram again tomorrow.

Never Alone In A Cafe

Vince Bunnyman sits alone in the café.
She’s late again. She just doesn’t know it.
The noise from the Waitress’s iPod is soothing.
The noise from the other customers even more so.
She arrives with book in hand.
He is already up to the world news section.
Just like the line in the song that he can’t remember, the Barrister forgets to make his coffee.
She turns to the dog-eared marked page of her book and continues the journey.
He looks to his phone for the time and moves onto the Sunday supplement.
No news, nothing different from last time.
She looks up, but not long enough for their eyes to meet.
Typical.
The coffee arrives.
Skinny. Flat. White.
Two of the three words relate, but not like they used to.
He watches her whilst he drinks.
Something they both did in previous cafés.
In previous lives.
The coffee goes faster than usual and thrill is gone.
The only saving grace is a complimentary Muffin and the determination that next time will be different.
Next time he’ll make the effort to say hello to her.

Start here ->

Vince Bunnyman has begun.