Like No Other

Vince Bunnyman ran like no other.
Some people run for weight loss.
Others for fitness.
Others to forget.
To clear their head and let the endorphins do their work.
Vince however ran as if his life depended on it.
Which it did.
He just didn’t know why.
Or more precisely, he didn’t know what.
What was chasing him?
He’d heard stories.
He’d read articles.
That’s why he’d come here.
To the middle of nowhere.
To the bush.
To the place few indigenous people still called home.
The trees tried their best to hold him back, scratching and tearing at his skin as he pushed on.
The pain was nothing compared to what his mind conjured up if his fate was to fall into the hands of his pursuer.
Not that you would call them hands.
It was suppose to be a myth.
A fable.
A legend from generation’s long gone.
A story that the first settler’s had told their children to keep them from venturing out into the bush alone.
To keep them safe.
Story or not, Vince did not feel safe.
His heart raced with the same urgency as the rest of his body.
Whatever it was, it was getting closer.
And Vince was tiring.
He’d been running for what felt like forever.
In reality it was since he’d returned to their campsite.
Since he’d seen the blood.
The body and the blood.
He hadn’t had time to check on her properly.
To check for any signs of life or even a pulse.
The beastly howl that came from the darkness around him was enough to make him turn away in an instant.
To run.
The sound of heavy footsteps behind him instilled images of an elephant trampling towards him.
But there were no elephants here.
And an elephant had not done that to her.
The heavy snarling that followed him now sounded somewhat like a rabid dog or wild dingo.
But both of those animals would surely have caught up with him by now.
Whatever it was, it was big, heavy and angry.
Everything else was left up to Vince’s imagination.
So he ran.
He ran from his imagination as fast as he possibly could.
Praying that it would never catch up with him.

The Elephant In The Room

Vince Bunnyman pushed the heavy trunk to one side.
It fell from his head to his shoulder, and in doing so tipped his centre of gravity sharply to the right.
Without fuss he realigned himself and continued reading.
Lillie was being playful.
Elephants and Don DeLillo do not mix.
Regardless, it was his favourite place to read.
Sitting on his reliable, yet uncomfortable, wooden stool and leaning against Lillie’s cage.
The spotlight attached to the cage shook as she removed her trunk from between the bars.
Usually Lillie would simply stand behind Vince.
Attentive.
Watchful.
As if she was following every word with Vince as he read his book.
Tonight though, she was restless.
Not the type of animal you normally took for a walk when they were in this type of mood.
Besides, the constant drone of the rain on the tent canvas above them indicated that it was not an evening for a moonlit stroll.
Her trunk found itself on Vince’s head again, this time forcing him forward.
He closed his book with a thud, pushed her trunk to one side again and turned towards his giant grey friend.
Let’s practice then.
Lillie let out a tiny blast from her trunk in agreement.
Her plan had worked.
Vince unlocked her cage door and set off to retrieve the props they used in their routine.
By the time he turned around again to face Lillie she had opened her cage door and was standing just outside of it.
Vince stood right at the edge of their tent, roughly 20 feet from Lillie, and held high a group of brightly coloured hula-hoops.
Lillie’s trunk instinctively reached for the sky.
One by one Vince looped the hula-hoops towards Lillie.
His aim was not true.
It didn’t matter.
Lillie masterfully manoeuvred her trunk from left to right, up and down, catching every single hula-hoop thrown in her direction.
Impressive.
She then dropped them to the ground as Vince raised his hands high above his head making himself into a human pole.
One by one Lillie looped the hula-hoops back at Vince with her trunk.
Each one falling perfectly over Vince and dropping to his feet.
Even more impressive.
Smiling, Vince lowered his arms and gave his friend a small round of applause.
Time for the second act.
Turning to his left, Vince pressed play on his aging tape deck.
The air crackled with the sound of an old record player.
And then… The Chicken Dance.
Vince motioned his hands like the beak of a chicken.
Four beats.
Lillie flapped her ears like the wings of a chicken.
Four beats.
They both wiggled from side to side.
Four beats.
Vince clapped, whilst Lillie stomped.
Four beats.
Then, in time with the music, Vince and Lillie spun around on the spot, returned to their original positions and started the routine again.
And then again.
Each time faster than the last as dictated by the music and the unwritten laws that accompanied it.
Lillie had never been to a country wedding or a 40th birthday party; this was the closest she would come.
The music stopped and both Vince and Lillie did their best to return their breathing to normal.
Lillie raised her trunk and again let out a barely audible blast.
She really did love the Chicken Dance.
Time for the third and final act.
From the side of the tent Vince pulled his latest prop into the centre of the tent.
It was giant hula-hoop.
Standing only just bigger than Lillie.
She was not what you would consider a very large elephant.
In fact, the adverting posters on which she was featured billed her as “the 3rd smallest adult elephant in the southern hemisphere”.
None the less, the size of Vince’s giant hula-hoop was impressive.
It took all his strength to navigate it into position.
A task he secretly hoped Lillie might have helped him with.
Instead, she backed away two tiny steps.
Vince shook his head, indicating that Lillie was being childish.
She knew what was next though.
With the flick of a match Vince lit the giant hoop and in an instant it glowed red with flames.
We should try it at least once.
Lillie edged back even further, almost back inside her cage, as the flap to their tent opened and a man with a small monkey on his shoulder entered.
The monkey was holding an umbrella in an attempt to keep them both dry from the horrible downpour outside.
It had only half succeeded.
You’re on in five minutes.
Vince smiled and gave the man an acknowledging nod.
Good luck.
Vince and Lillie didn’t need luck.
All they needed was for the show to go on.
One hula-hoop trick and one silly dance at a time.
Lillie dipped her trunk into her nearby drinking water and emptied it onto Vince’s giant hula-hoop, extinguishing the fire and with it the hope that tonight would be the night.
It wouldn’t be.
Maybe next time.

Know Your Bunnyman Part No. 4

Vince Bunnyman refers to himself in the 4th person.