Numbers Count

Vince Bunnyman believes numbers count.
1 may be regarded as the loneliest number, but that’s really only because it has the least amount of friends on Facebook.
Overall though, 1 is only slightly more lonesome than everyone else.
2 is company.
2 is partnership.
2 is business.
2 means business.
Don’t mess with 2.
2 will pull a knife on you and take your wallet.
3 is the magic number.
Vince saw it pull a rabbit out of a hat last week and the things it can do with coloured handkerchiefs is a sight to behold.
3 is available for kids parties and corporate functions.
4 is Vince’s favourite.
They both enjoy Soy Macchiatos.
5 is high.
Always fun.
Always celebrating with the slapping of skin.
It’s only on the down low, when you’re too slow, that the fun ceases to exist.
6 is under constant surveillance by the authorities.
They believe 6’s should not hang out in groups of 3. It’s just not safe.
If you see multiple 6’s congregating in the same vicinity, please dial 911.
7 is very talented… according to its parents.
They are both very proud that it is a prime number. Something they will not hesitate to tell you about if you ever happen to meet them.
8 can go fuck itself.
9 is loved by cats all around the world.
And so it should. It gives cats the power to dream and do as they please.
We should all be so lucky.
Very little of this adds up.

Wear Many Tee Shirts

Vince Bunnyman wears many Tee Shirts.

There are 3 main categories.

The first is the Bed Tee.

This Tee has been around forever and more than likely started its career as a Social Tee (see category 3 below).

It is rare for a Tee Shirt to start life out as a Bed Tee.

Unless it was a Christmas gift from Auntie Sheryl.

The Bed Tee’s main role is comfort.

Soft. Thick. Durable.

Long sleeves in winter, short in the summer.

The Bed Tee is most likely to be found in the second drawer down, hanging out with the underwear and socks.

The second category is the House Tee.

The House Tee is self-explanatory.

It rarely leaves the house.

It gets involved in common household chores like vacuuming and sitting on the couch watching TV.

Generally the House Tee will only see the light of day for outdoor chores like lawn mowing and hedge clipping.

With the exception being a trip to the shops for a packet of cigarettes and chocolate milk.

The House Tee is unlikely to obtain status in the second drawer down with the underwear and socks.

The third category of Tee Shirt is the Social Tee.

However it is also referred to as the Party Tee and the Good Tee Shirt.

Not that its morals are in any way impressive, or any better than those of the other Tee Shirts.

The Social Tee cares for little but the moment.

The Social Tee speaks volumes about its wearer.

They are bold and confident, yet easily distracted by bright colours.

White Tee Shirt with blue stripes, yellow stars, red dots and what looks like orange letters that spell out a common word.

They are outgoing and comical, but in a crude, sexist and often racist kind of way.

Brown Tee Shirt, image of breasts with a bow on top, text: Hello Titty.

They are big, muscular and take good care of themselves, but only themselves.

Black Tee Shirt. Tight. Defining. Plain.

They are intelligent and reserved, but more than just a little bit behind the times.

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